Wholehearted service

Sometimes it just amazes me how easily we put sin before Christ. We all strive and long for a deep relationship with someone who understands us. This is why so often we get into broken, messed up relationships. We are all looking for love and looking for someone to love. But how is it in our quest that we so often miss the One in which we will find all of this? God is the Captain of our faith, our comfort, our strength, our hope, our life! There is nothing in this life that He cannot satisfy or make right. But h, so many times how we chose sin over His love!

Jesus says "You cannot serve two masters; God and mammon". I think many times we do not realize what this means. We pray the sinners prayer, go to church, read our Bibles every day (or at least every other day), and we are content with that. So why is there that void? Why is reading God's living word so mundane and boring. Why does prayer just feel like recitation of requests and praises that we know are what we are supposed to say? The answer many times is that we are living with one hand in the world, and one hand in Christ and His kingdom. We want the best of two worlds. We are like the rich young ruler. We just cannot give up that little bosom sin we have. For some, it may be partying, drinking, pornography, sex, you know, the bad stuff! But wait, anything put above or in place of God is a sin. What about that work that keeps you from God, or the desire for fame and fortune, or that relationship not centered on God, or eating food when you know you shouldn't, or even that bad TV show that you know you shouldn't be watching, or that bad word that just keeps coming out whenever you get mad. All these things take the place of God. We may not think so especially when we actually do take time for God in our lives too, but sin and God cannot both abide healthily. No we cannot lose our salvation, and no, we will never be perfect, but we cannot blatantly live in sin and at the same time have a healthy relationship with the Lord. You cannot marry someone and still be seeing other people, and if you do, your relationship will crumble very quickly.

But these sins are so hard to eliminate. And it's so easy to give up and give in. Just remember, God loves you, and He wants more than anything to be close to you. He wants to be your satisfaction and your peace in life. And He can be. But first, we must let go! We must lose control, and break free of those lusts and temptations that so often control us. God wants our whole heart, not just part of it. So pray to Him to help you. You cannot do it on your own, and He does not expect you to. He wants to do it for you, and He can. He has done it in my life so many times, I cannot even count. Never have I had a more faithful friend than my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is there for me even when I hide from Him. And He can pull you through your greatest trial. He can release you from the bondage of your most loved sin. Go to Him, and pour your heart out before Him. It is your first step towards true peace and contentment.

Relationships, ahhh, that heated topic...

So what separates a "relationship" from a "friendship", and why should one make that separation? HAH, I've been asking myself that question since I broke up with my first boyfriend. I swore I'd never "date" again until I found the right one, but it turns out I've done that three more times since then. And every time I get in a relationship, it's the same old story. We hit it off great, we start spending lots of time together, we start telling eachother how much we love eachother, etc. Then the holding hands comes in, and you can't leave out the hugging and kissing! Ah, the relationship is going great, we love eachother, and hopefully sometime soon we'll get married because we can't stand to be apart. But hmm, what happened to that spiritual aspect? We used to at least talk about God alittle, but now we're lucky if we get a chapter of Bible thrown in before we start all the emotional mess.

What makes relationships go this way? Why do I have deeper spiritual conversations with even my casual friends than with my "boyfriends"? It's like I am totally on fire for God in all aspects of my life, but when I get with that "special someone" it all goes out the window, and soon I find myself in an emotional shipwreck not looking to God in anything. Man, will I ever figure it out?

Thinking and praying about it, I think the answer lies in this. Why get involved emotionally and physically just to "date"? What is it going to do for the souls of both parties? God made physical intimacy for a man and a woman when they become one in His sight, that is, when they take their vows and become married. Yes, a relationship does have to grow, but it needs to grow first and foremost spiritually. To be blunt but honest about it, at least how I feel, if two people do not agree spiritually and are not basing their relationship soley on God, they have no buisness being anything more than friends. I want to live my life for God, and if anything stands in my way, I need to evaluate exactly what I am doing. The Bible says if your right hand offends you, cut it off. There is nothing wrong with your right hand in and of itself, but the purpose of the passage is, even if something that seems good draws you away from God and or leads you into sin, you must eliminate it from your life. So even if a relationship that seems good is causing me to lose focus on God, I need to back up and revaluate things in my own life. I should not even consider marrying someone, and in turn, dating someone, unless I see us both drawing eachother closer to God and together bettering God's kingdom. A proper relationship is not two way, it's a pyramid, with God at the top.

So there's my take on it all. I just had to get that off my chest. God bless you all, and if you are in a relationship, ask yourselves this question? What do the two of you do for eachother spiritually (not just are you both saved and go to church), and how does your relationship better the kingdom of God? I think you will find that true contentment in a relationship lies in these two questions, no matter how much it may hurt to admit the truth.

Ask yourself the question, is it really worth it?

This time of year, we celebrate the holiday we call Easter. Many times small children get all excited about the easter bunny and easter egg hunts, while parents are busy buying candy, cards, and preparing the easter egg hunts. And who can forget the big dinners and family gatherings? A three day holiday for many, we often overlook the true meaning of the day, and think only of the temporal pleasures that excite our physical senses. But why do we really celebrate Easter? What does it mean?

Easter is the time we remember the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. With that being said, what is it we are remembering, and why did Jesus even die? Jesus left His throne on heaven because we were lost in sin and could not save ourselves. He left a realm of glory to come and suffer, bleed, and die in our place to quench the Father's wrath. You may think, “God must be sick to allow His Son to go through all that just to calm His wrath.” The true answer is this. God is perfect, and there is no sin in Him. For Him to overlook our sins and say “It's OK” would deny the truth and His very being. He would be unjust to say our sin was “OK”. God cannot tolerate even the smallest sin in His perfect eternity. But He loved us...each one of us...so much that He was willing to die in our behalf, since we could not be perfect on our own. And He rose again from the dead so that we could rise to new life and dwell with Him in eternity.

But this is not the end. Are we just saved and then everything is all hunky dory and we go on in our sinful, wretched lives? Absolutely not! How can we live and dwell and lurk in the sin and stench that put our Lord and Savior on the cross...that nailed the nails into his hands...that swung the whip that tore away His flesh? Is it really worth it? Is that sin...that pleasure really worth the blood and sweat that He shed out of love for you and me? He sees our every action, and every time we sin, we deny Him, just as Peter did. We nail the nails into His sacred flesh! How can we live in such treason against our King? Is that sin really worth it? We are lukewarm, and we just don't think do we? Every time we say that foul word, or look at that dirty magazine, or place our work in front of our spiritual well being, or eat that food that we know we shouldn't have, or talk about that person behind their back, or participate in for play and premarital sex, or feel that jealousy and hatred for another person...every time...Christ shrieks in agony over that thing we thought we found pleasure in. Is it really worth it?

This Easter, take the time out of your busy schedule to pray. Seek God's face? When is the last time you did business with God, I mean really pray? I'll be honest, it has been too long for me. Why? Why do we put other things before Christ, and drive one more spike into His wrists? He loves us unconditionally. Let us fight the battle against sin and not waver or give in. “Lord, help me this night to always seek You first before I act upon my impulses. Help me to love You more than I love my sins, and to turn away...do an about face...and never even look back again. Help my friends as well to see the love that You have to offer, and to know that You alone are the fountain of life and peace. Sin is ugly, and it only leads to death. In You is beauty, and You lead us to eternal life. Help us know You more. In Jesus name...”

Is it really worth it?

Mental and Emotional burnout

Well let's face it. We live in an action filled, stressful world, where we are always on the go. Our worth is measured up by how much money we make, how popular we are, how good we look, how smart we are, how much education we have, and the list goes on and on. But what does God think? Or do we even care to know what God thinks? It is so easy to get focused on the finite and the worldly, and to lose focus on the infinite and the heavenly. We must ask ourselves, "What is really important in this life, and why are we here?" I think if we are true children of God, deep down inside we know this answer.

Ah, but I know for me, I lose sight of the answer so easily. Just moments ago I was parked in a deserted neighborhhod, sitting alone in the dark in my messy car with my mp3 player in my lap and my headphones in my ears, crying my eyes out and screaming to God for help once again. May sound a little extreme, but I don't cry very much (like once every few months) and I will avoid doing it in public at all costs, so when I get alone in y little car and am by myself, LOOK OUT!!! I vented to God and realized that I just can't do it on my own. Wow, how many times have I learned that lesson? Too many, but I just keep learning it! I drug myself to the breaking point again, focusing on the temporal instead of the spiritual. No, I have no clue where I am going in life, every day it seems like I want something different, and I have no clcue what will come next, but the problem is I need to enforce a simple word into my life...TRUST. And that trust must be in God alone. Without that trust and trying to figure out everything on my own, I will quickly drag myself into the dust. I realize more and more each day that I am nothing without Him.

So in our busy lives, we must take time to realize that God is in control, and He will help us through all our battles. Everything changes, as I know all too well. Sometimes I wake up and ddon't even know who I am, which wears not only on me, but on those around me. But thank the Lord, I know who I am in Him, for I am His child. The only way we will find ourelves is to lose ourselves in Him, and though it is hard, we must do it in order to find true joy and contentment in every situation in life. We must lean on Him for every decision, every moment in our lives. God bless you all and have a great night!

Lessons from sweeping the floor at Chinatown (yes, we can learn from everything)

Wow, sweeping the floor at the Chinatown Buffet can really be a grueling task. First off, I always let it go too long, and before I know it, I see dirt, crumbs, scraps of paper, you name it, everywhere! So I quickly run and grab the broom before my boss and all the customers notice (hah, like they haven't by now?). Then I begin heartily sweeping. "This can't be too bad!" I think to myself, but soon I realise the task will take longer than I thought. What looked like a little surface dirt in some spots, (and it was at one time), has now been ground deep in the carpet. I can't just brush it away. I have to scrub it...hard! Then it seems that the cleaner I get it, the more dirt I find. Whew, will it ever be clean? Even as I clean, still more dirt gets tracked onto places that I just cleaned. Then I also have the distractions of people coming in and out of the doors, hindering me from the cleaning process. Wow, finally after some hard work, it's swept quite clean, and I can put the broom away...but only for a time. Soon, it will become dirty once again, so all I can do is be vigilant and clean the dirt spots sooner, before they become ground in next time.

OK, so why in the world did this crazy girl just talk about sweeping the Chinatown floor on her blog about spiritual warfare? Well, in case you hadn't noticed, it is almost identical to the process of wiping sin from our own lives. It is a continuous process. We will not reach perfection in this life. Does that mean we should just let it go and allow ourselves to wallow in our sin? Absolutely not! I keep the floor clean because I want to please my boss, and I want those who come in to have a good impression of the restaurant. If I just let the floor get and stay dirty, what would others think of the place, and would my boss be very happy with me when she asked me to keep it clean? It is the same in our spiritual lives. If we are content to leave our lives dirty in sin, what will others think of Christ when we are representing Him, and how will Christ feel when we disobey blatantly what He asked of us? And so many times we lose track of it, and don't notice the sins that have crept in until our lives are filthy, and our sin is clearly visible to others. That dirt that was so grounded into the carpet is like the sins that we just keep letting go until they get ground deeper and deeper into our being. And wow, aren't they the hardest to clean up? And then more sins continue to get tracked into our lives, even as we continue to clean. This is why we must always be vigilant and fighting the battle against sin. Oh, and those distractions, they always come, and many times we cannot avoid them. But all to often, we come back later to our battle against sin and find that more has come in during our time of distraction. Sometimes the distraction itself even leads us into sin. Finally, we reach those points where, no we are not perfect, but our heart is on the right track with God. Time to rest...but is it? Aren't these the times that we often fall asleep and the filth comes back worse than ever? We must be aware. These are the times we must gear up for the battle in prayer, reading God's word, and fellowshiping with other believers. We must be always vigilant in our battle against sin, lest our hearts become overrun with filth once again.

So ultimately, we will never be perfect, but we must strive for perfection by wiping sin from our lives in order to please the Captain of our faith and to set a good example representing Him to others. We must not slack off! Sin is nothing to play with. It is what hung Jesus on that cross, and made Him suffer, bleed, and die. Thankfully, He loved us enough to take our place. We must ask ourselves, do we love Him enough to take a stand, or will we push His suffering aside in vain and choose to live in the same filth that put Him to death?

Deceptions

One of the greatest weapons is deception. Even the strongest person in the universe could not compete with the most deceptive. Deception is many times how we defeat those who are stronger than we are. So how does the devil and even our own sin nature achieve victory over our new, changed hearts? Deception. The devil and sin come as an angel of light. Ever notice how easy it is to do something that's wrong, but how difficult it is to do what is right? Ever notice how quickly we find ourselves in situations that previously we decided were not right, and how we justify them in every way possible? But the truth is, all sin will eventually lead to destruction and misery.

As I ran on the treadmill this morning, I thought of where I was with the Lord just six months ago. I had set my sights on Him alone, and on glorifying Him and not myself in life. Slowly, I slipped away. Looking back, I see the many things which have slipped back into my life that I had purposed not to do again. Oh how quickly and often we fall away? It doesn't have to be this way, for "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." If only I had stayed where I needed to be and relied on Him instead of myself, I would not be in situations now that I regret and see the need to change. How true it is that Christ's yoke is easy and His burden is light, but also how true it is that the narrow is the gate to eternal life, and wide is the path to eternal destruction. Even being saved from my sins, I so often slip away into my own perception of what is right, disregarding what His true, faultless word says. But in the end, I find myself in misery, needing to be rescued once again.

So how are we to avoid this trap...this snare? It creeps in so quietly, and who can notice it? Only God can protect us. We are nothing on our own. When we least expect it, the things that seem right are many times are not. Thankfully, we have the Holy Spirit within us who discerns our thoughts and actions and convicts our consciences when we are wrong. So in the wake of the battle, we must utilize God's mighty armour, His sword, His shield, His helmet, His shoes, His belt, His breastplate...We must be in constant prayer and always feeding upon His word. If a soldier does not constantly train and better himself, he will not be prepared for the battle at hand. We must also join with others, and have them pray for us, and we pray for them. We are not in this battle alone. There are other soldiers serving the same Master, and in any battle or mission, teamwork is a must! And most of all, we have a powerful Leader who guides each one of us all the way.

So how do we get out of the enemies prisoner of war camp? WOW! A tough one, and one I must achieve if I want perfect fellowship with my Master and Leader. When we find ourselves caught in situations that are not right, but we don't know how to get out or change what is going on, we must look to God every step of the way. Without Him, we can do nothing. Only He can send His armies to save us from the enemy. And we must also take up arms and be strong in Him. We mustn't despair, but rather we must keep our heads held high, knowing that He will help us through if we turn from the wrong and strive for the right.

But failure happens so frequently! I fail every day, and so many times it is in the same areas as those failures the day before. All we can do is strive for a closer walk. This is what I must do. To anyone out there who reads this, you are not alone! What ever your struggle, there are others going through these challenges as well. Don't give up! Fight with all your might, and you will prevail! You don't have to be subject to the powers of sin. God can help you achieve victory! But it will not come without a fight, and it will not come if you sit in a corner despaired feeling like you are too great a failure to pick yourself up and try again. Christ didn't fail you, and we do not have to fail Him. With Him, we can live a life of peace and joy! But we must follow His rules and regulations to find this peace and joy.

My final words are this. A two-faced soldier may play both sides for awhile, but soon enough his motives will be seen, and he will be killed by one side or the other. We, likewise, cannot live with one foot in the world, and one in Christ. Either we must live our lives 100% for Christ, or we are lying of our testimony and are serving two leaders. We cannot defect to the other side! God wants our devotion wholeheartedly. Please pray for me in my battles, and know that you are in my prayers too. God bless you all!

Addictions...the Silent Killer

As I railed myself over the head this morning for binging last night (seriously I ate three bags of cheese-its, a pack of crackers, three packs of cookies, and a couple other things), I thought of how so many things rule our lives in the place of God. We often think of the classic addictions, such as drug abuse, alcohol, sex, pornography, etc. The fact is, we can become addicted to anything, even going to church or succeeding at our job. An addiction is anything that we do to gain satisfaction, contentment, or fulfillment outside of God. This is why addictions drag us down so bad, because the desire will just grow stronger and stronger since nothing will ever fill the void when we shut God out. I ask myself, "Why do you turn to food for contentment and work for fulfillment when neither will ever satisfy?" I am continually drug down by my obsessions, when God gives true freedom through His grace and love. We do not need to be subject to the powers of our obsessions! God can give us everything we need if we just follow and trust Him with our lives. The next time you begin to turn to that desire that you think will fulfil the void, think again. Turn back to the Lord, our King, and the One who sustains us until the end. He provides our every need, and He can satisfy when nothing else can. He will not leave us empty.

Victory in the Old Rugged Cross!

So many times life seems overwhelming, and we feel like we can no longer go on. The battles we face every day are just reminders of how helpless we really are. Sometimes I ask myself, "how is it that food, studying, and even attempting to have control over my future can take such control over me and rule my life?" I am helpless when I try to live my life on my own strength. To live life without going to God for guidance through His word and prayer is like fighting in a battle and using nothing but your hands when the enemy has the latest in weapontry technology. So today, running in the cool windy air with those old and yet so relavant words to "The Old Rugged Cross" playing into my ears, I found a moment of peace in the wake of the storm. I realized how useless my pursuits are in life when I don't cling to that old rugged cross, for my only crown in life and in death is by that cross. Jesus won the war over sin when He died on that tree. We may win and lose battles in this life, but at death, we will win the war and enter the promised land by His strength alone! How glorious that day will be, and how we all long for it, but we mustn't lose sight in the battles at hand as we long for ultimate victory in the end. This life is a tes, and by clinging to that old rugged cross, we can win the battles and the war. Freedom comes when we become servants of the living God wholeheartedly! He longs for our service and for our love. God bless you all and have a wonderful day!

The battle rages, but God never lets His soldiders down!

I woke up yesterday morning unprepared for the day at hand. I slept in till 0800 and I had a big exam in ... egh! ... GEOMETRY! I am a math major, but this stuff isn't even math to me...it's like a math based, abstract writing class! Already into the fifth week, we have barly begun discussing line segments and rays, being it took that long to explain the abstract "logical" concepts behind it. So frustrated, I sat in my room, wishing I could just hide in my bed. But no, that exam was staring at me in the face like a sniper with his scope already aimed dead center at my head saying "I will get you at 1500, just wait!!!!!" I stumbled down the stairs, and soon found myself swamped with other tasks that took me away from my last few hours of studying. I finally left the house at 0950, and went to the gym to get a short "stress relief" run in! Then it was time to go to chinatown. Of course by this time, I was not even thinking of fGod...bad mistake...but I went there totally panicked thinking "great, I have this test right after I get off work, and I bet today will be so busy, I won't even get a change to skim the notes." WRONG!!!!! Don't ever underestimate God! The restaraunt was incredibly quiet, and I had time to not only skim, but to study in depth everything that I needed to know! When I went into the testing center at 1445, I was fully prepared to take down that sniper while he slept waiting for me to arrive! The lesson learned is, God will never ask us to fifght a abattle that He does not equip us for. We must face all our trials and struggles head on, knowing that He is our commander and will lead us through! True stress relief is casting our cares upon Christ who strengthens us. There is no other way. Lean on Him and He will fight for you. God bless and have a wonderful day!

The beginning!

WOW! I have a blog! Well, guess this is post one, and it will be short and sweet since I just got home after a 14 hour day and took benadril. All I want to say is this...God is real, and He loves us no matter what! Why do we find it so hard to serve such a perfect Commander? He is our true Captain, and He knows our every need. But serving in God's army is not all fun and games. It's a constant struggle, and basic training is only the beginning! We must continue to grow in the knowledge of Holy warfare, and know how to defeat our greatest enemies, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life, and the devil. Our instructional manual is God's Word, and He will explain it to us through prayer and meditation. Lean on Him tonight and always, and He will win the battle for you!

Goodnight and God bless!